Swine flu

I have things to address about the current pandemic...

1. It sounds dirty, like an STD you got from doing something particularly nasty. Sounds like a Piggy venereal disease.

2. Let's  call it "The  Piggy Virus" from now on or maybe Piggy Flu.

3. I am tired of being asked if I am worried about it. Of course I am.

4. I am crossing off Asians, Mexicans and anyone from New York off my list of people to lick.The gardeners seem relieved.

5. I keep reading about everything except symptoms of the of the stupid "Piggy Virus".

6. Is there an outbreak of People Flu amongst Mexican / Asian & New York pigs? Are they worried about the Piggy Virus also or trying to get a hold of the wide spread panic the People Flu is causing amongst the pigs.

7. I think we should progress to the mask wearing stage at this point...if only to be spared many of my coworkers faces...and germs.

8. WTF happened to the Asian Bird Flu? Is that still floating around too?

Have we dealt with Bird Flu? 

I'm going to snack on vitamins all day buy some Lysol.